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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Random Bits

So, I'm still trying to work out how to organize this blog, as writing retrospectively could be tricky. But here are a few things you may not know about the 'special' joys of Cancer;

*When your eyelashes fall out, they fall into your eyeballs. AND HURT
*You don't have to shave your legs for months on end
*Chemo make you stink like a rotting junkie. You cannot get the smell off your skin, out of your clothes, bed linen or furnishings
*Wigs have to be so tight that they don't fall off when you turn your head or look down
*You have to wash your hands so often that you start to REALLY resent it
*You have to become obsessive about others washing their hands and very quickly discover which ones of your friends do or don't wash their hands after using the bathroom
*Being bald feels fantastic
*Being a bald chick isn't that fantastic
*Buying 2 very expensive wigs online after not having slept for three straight days is just plain stupid
*Finally you have the bikini line that you have spent a fortune on at the beauticians trying to achieve, but now no one wants to look at it
*A wig on a stand looks like a severed head
*Chemo is a liquid that is put through you much the same as any other drip
*Chemo makes you pee BRIGHT red, like undiluted cordial, for 3 days after
*Cancer is really boring, long, tedious and lonely
*Sometimes cheese tastes really yummy, like rediculously extra yummy, 20 minutes later it may taste like poison
*When you open the fridge door and bend down the cold breeze on your bald head makes you giggle
*Your finger nails split vertically and not horizontally, so you have to wear nail polish to try and stop them from splitting at all times
*You have to brush your teeth after eating anything and rinse with a vile salt/antiseptic wash
*Wine makes mouth ulcers feel better
*Chemo can sometimes make you get 'special feelings' in the ladies-down-stairs-department. Which is odd as you are in a room filled with strangers
*There is such a thing as nostril thrush
*Drinking 4 litres of water a day is basically a full time job

3 comments:

  1. I love that chemo makes you horny!

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  2. Reem, It's soooooo funny... Let me say, not JUST horney... I've had better times at chemo than I have had with guys that I have dated for years!!! The funniest thing was the first time it happened I said "What the hell???", out loud to the nurse as it came as a tad of a shock. She just laughed and said "oh, your one of the lucky ones". Apparently it isn't that totally uncommon. But bloody hysterical all the same

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  3. Bwahahahahah! That's ridiculous!

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